King Dusty objected with his royal gavel

Last night Dusty Baker made me like him even more than a do as a caricature; although I do hate him as a manager. He is King Dusty. Ruler of the Reds. Last night I was watching the game at the bar, when from the corner of my eye comes the flailing king, squaking and carrying on. How bad do you wanna see him with a royal robe or cape on? How bad does he need a royal scepter? It's his fucking kingdom, and he's calling the fucking shots. Got it? He can hit Corey Patterson 3rd if he wants to. He can double switch our best run producer out for a defensive replacement in the 5th inning if he feels like it. He's royalty. He's chivalrous.

He's suspended.

King Dusty earned two games to sit on his throne in the clubhouse while a guy like Mark Berry (third base coach) calls the shots. We've lost 4 in a row and now our perfect (as in, perfect guy to manage this team of gutless players) manager is not allowed in the dugout. Watch us fucking win 2 in a row.

Over at Fire Dusty Baker, they've decided to call it a stalemate for now and they're talking steaks. The only thing is, King Dusty doesn't like steaks; he likes to nibble on rich lamb legs. He also sips red wine from his royal chalice and gurgle the bubbles while his nubian beauties massage his peg legs.

King Dusty quotable. Very quotable

"He [Janish] is a true shortstop, but Jerry's doing a great job offensively and we've been having trouble offensively," Baker said. "You've got to have some offense to replace a key offensive guy."
-Dusty Baker, 5/15/08 while Corey Patterson raises his OBP to a whopping .276 and Jay Bruce's .984 OPS sits in Louisville

Are you not entertained?

The Reds were just swept in a 3-game series by the Pittsburgh Pirates. While some want to place blame on the Reds hitters, I blame Dusty Baker. He is the reason this team struggles to score runs.

Baker is the guy who wanted the light hitting Norris Hopper and Ryan Freel on this team over Jay Bruce, who already has a big league bat. He's the guy who has chosen to protect Adam Dunn in the lineup with Edwin Encarnacion (who's riding the interstate himself) during Dunn's slump, instead of using a guy who is a threat like Jeff Keppinger.

I'm really sick and tired of hearing Cincinnati bone-head fans defend this group year after year by saying things like "it's early". You do not turn around a decade of ineptitude by beginning the year playing .500 ball or just below. You do not change the losing culture that has existed for the duration of some's entire career in Cincinnati (Dunn, Griffey) by getting swept out of town by the fucking Pirates, a bunch of no-talent ass clowns who on paper are nowhere near Cincinnati in talent.

It's just unreal. If I wanna watch a real team I might just have to head to the sports bar every night.

Dusty-ball coming to Cincinnati

Dusty Baker has been named the new manager of the Cincinnati Reds. Reds owner Bob Castellini is happy to anounce that Baker will be the man to lead this Reds team into a new era, one that hopefully brings playoff appearances and a trip to the franchise's first World Series since 1990.

I have to say that Castellini's commitment to making this team a winner is very encouraging. I can't tell you how much it means that he brings in a big time manager that can possibly take this team to the next level, something that no one has been able to do in the past decade.

I thought the Reds would once again name the interim manager Pete Mackinin as the full time guy as they had done with Jack Mckeon, Dave Miley, and Jerry Narron. I was pleasantly wrong and surprised.

While many people around baseball; namely Cubs and Giants fans; want to discredit the managerial skills of Dusty Baker, I believe he has as good of a chance as any manager of turning this team around. He often worked with a strapped payroll similar to the one in Cincinnati when he was in San Francisco. He and Brian Sabean constantly had those teams in contention and I expect the same type of success here in Cincinnati.